she was so not down for the gang bang
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
