PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
