oh god the rape fog is back!
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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