how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
