Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
