There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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