these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
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his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
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I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.