dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
She has the best kind of daddy issues