That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
