I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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