girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
