Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize