please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
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Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
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I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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