"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
