I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
