I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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