Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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