I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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