I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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