Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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