It's Friday. Sex?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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