chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
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Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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