Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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