i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.