I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
