no. you can't hotbox the world.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.