I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
