am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!