So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.