Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
