Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
