Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
