We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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