Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
