We won't sleep together?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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