I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize