I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
