ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
my poor anus
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
