He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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