the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize