I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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