That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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