you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
