Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
