I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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