My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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