I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize