I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
