Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
