that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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