remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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