We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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