Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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