yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
