respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize