ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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