They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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