My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
bring money and cleavage
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
