im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Shame - the story of my life.
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